Happy Girl
by Mystical Sand
Summary: Songfic. Rogue remembers her past while preparing for her future with Gambit.


Disclaimer: Marvel owns Rogue and the X-Men.  The song _Happy Girl_ is sung by Martina McBride.  I own nothing.

A/N: This is a bit of a mix between the comic and the first animated series.

Rogue starred at the cover of her old photo album for several minutes before opening it.  The pictures inside went all the way back to her childhood.  There were so many memories inside she wanted to forget.  So why did she keep them so close to her?  Did she want to punish herself?  Did she hope remembering the past would somehow allow her to fix the mistakes she made?  Rogue decided that none of this mattered for the moment and bravely opened the album.  
  


_I used to live in a darkened room   
Had a face of stone   
And a heart of gloom_   
  


  
On the first page was a picture of her father.  Who had taken it?  She didn't remember.  Rogue only knew that it could not have been her mother.  She had left years before.  This was, however, one of the few times Rogue remembered him being sober.  She thought back to how she used to live in fear of this man.  How he would come home drunk and physically abuse her.  There was no place in the house she could feel safe from him.  But nothing came close to his rage on day he learned she was a mutant and threw her out.

_Lost my hope I was so far gone   
Cryin' all my tears   
With the curtains drawn_   
  


  
Rogue searched through a few photos of Cody until she found one of herself with Mystique and Destiny.  Rogue thought she had found a home with the Brotherhood.  She believed they cared about her.  As Rogue looked at the photos, she just felt ashamed that she never caught on to how they were only using her.  This was proven when they sent her up against Carol Danvers.  Rogue destroyed her foster mother's greatest enemy, but in the process Rogue was also deeply scarred.

_I didn't know until my soul broke free   
I've got these angels watching over me   
_  
  


Soon Rogue came across her first pictures of the X-Men.  She thought back to when she had to stoop to begging her enemies for help.  Most wanted to turn her away, but Professor Xavier agreed to work with her to get her powers under control.  It had been a long time since Rogue truly felt hope.

_Oh watch me go   
I'm a happy girl   
Everybody knows   
That the sweetest thing you'll ever see   
In the whole wide world   
Is a happy girl_   
  


  
She was eventually accepted as part of the team.  Saving Wolverine and Mariko was a turning point.  In the next few photos Rogue looked happy.  Truly happy.  She stood closer to her teammates.  Kitty had an arm around her.  Ororo held her gloved hand.  Peter stood directly behind the three of them.  Rogue appeared to be a part of the family.

_I used to hide in a party crowd   
Bottled up inside   
Feeling so left out_   
  


  
But her problems were far from over, and she could not escape the sins of her past.  Next, Rogue came across a picture in which she was shopping with the girls.  But this wasn't really her.  It was Carol Danvers in her body.

_Standing in a corner wearing concrete shoes   
With my frozen smile   
And my lighted fuse_   
  


  
There were actually quite a few photos in which Carol was in control.  Rogue noticed the difference in her teammates' mannerisms towards her in these pictures.  She could tell they cared for Carol more than they ever had for her.  After all, who was easier to love: the sweet, wonderful Carol Danvers or the flawed, temperamental Rogue?  The other X-Men were certainly in no hurry to help get the other woman out of her head.  What was it Storm told her?  That this was a fitting punishment for a crime equal to murder? 

_Now every time I start to feel like that   
I roll my heart out like a welcome mat_   
  
  


Ms. Marvel's psyche was eventually removed from her however.  For better or worse Carol Danvers was out of her head.  When Rogue rejoined the X-Men, it was like getting another fresh start.

_Oh watch me go   
I'm a happy girl   
Everybody knows   
That the sweetest thing you'll ever see   
In the whole wide world   
Is a happy girl_   
  
  


Of course, meeting Gambit had gone a long way towards rebuilding her hope and faith in herself.  She actually smiled as she traced her fingers over her first photo of the two of them together.  Remy LeBeau challenged Rogue in ways no one else ever had.  He pushed her personal boundaries and made her face her fears.  As their relationship grew, Rogue felt a deeper connection with him than she had ever felt towards anyone she had known before.

_Laugh when I feel like it   
Cry when I feel like it   
That's just how my life is   
That's how it goes_   
  
  


The couple did have their ups and downs.  Rogue noticed how in some of the photos they stood closer together than in others.  In some both of them looked genuinely happy while in others they seemed to wear plastic smiles and pose for the camera.

_Oh watch me go   
I'm a happy girl   
And I've come to know   
That the world won't change   
Just 'cause I complain   
Let the axis twirl   
I'm a happy girl_   
  


  
Nothing could keep Rogue and Gambit apart for too long though.  They continued to grow closer in spite of the obstacles thrown in their path, and he eventually asked her to marry him.  That was the happiest day of her life.  But sometimes she still had to ask herself certain questions.  Did she deserve him?  Did she really deserve to be happy?

_Oh watch me go   
I'm a happy girl   
Everybody knows   
That the sweetest thing you'll ever see   
In the whole wide world   
Is a happy girl_   
  


  
Rogue's thoughts were interrupted when Remy stuck his head through her doorway.  His usual cocky grin melted her heart as he handed her a single red rose.  She closed her photo album and put it back in her closet before agreeing to join her fiancé for a picnic.

_Oh, yeah   
Oh, yeah   
I'm a happy girl_

Their wedding would be in a few weeks.  Rogue grinned at the thought as she linked her arm with his.  When they stepped outside into the warm sunshine and fresh air, she felt revitalized.  Rogue had her share of painful memories, but there was also so much joy in her life.  She needed to remember that too.  With Remy by her side, Rogue knew she would always find reason to be thankful for the blessings she had received.


End file.
